Gotta Simplify

When others save it, we call it garbage. When we save it, we call it archives, files, reference materials or just plain old stuff. Yet, each and everyone could use to purge, recycle and repurpose so many of our items. Hoarding has become recognized by psychologists as a legitimate mental illness requiring treatment. Clutter is expensive in terms of time, cost and mental energy.  If you want the world to be a better place, start with making a better place in your world.

Encouraging Each Other

When was the last time someone told you, "You can do this!"  I speculate that it has been a while. It seems to be out of style to give people around us encouragement to do better, reach their goals or know that they are on the right track. In the work place, many managers just assume that you know if you are doing something well. It's easier to look on their dashboards and see where you are short in some measurable metric and have 'coach' you in to doing better. I don't have an easy answer on how to get the appreciation and encouragement which we call would like. My only suggestion is when was the last time your told someone you, "You can do this!"  When it comes to receiving this, be the support which you would like from others.

Success Comes In Baby Steps

It is quite rare that someone truly experiences overnight, lasting success. For most people, success comes to us in baby steps. Much like the actual steps of an infant, our baby steps on the path to our goals are soft ,slow and can be uncertain. We might toddle and fall down in between the series of steps we take. But with time and practice, we are dashing around the living room at full speed. Baby steps are what it takes for the infant to grow into a toddler, and then a child, then a teen, and finally an adult. Baby steps are what we need to grow in our process in the beginning to the middle to the ultimate success that we seek.

Your World Is More Than Just The News Reports

If we believe the news headlines, we would be paralyzed with fear.  News reports are composed of what’s wrong; it takes individual self-discipline to remind ourselves what is right in our world. Look at the headlines.  While we hear a great deal about Ebola, remind yourself that scientists work diligently to cure infectious diseases and doctors take great precautions when they come in contact with this. While we are concerned about the reign of terror from dissident groups such as ISIS, most people are actually peace loving. When we hear about school shootings, assaults and bullying know that the overwhelming majority of students made it to school safe, on time and are learning. In uncertain times, fear can be pervasive. Know that while these incidents are real, the news will never feature the headline: “Decent person does job well, pays bills, gets kids to school, appreciate family and lives life with a measure of self-satisfaction.” It is each of our jobs to remind us ourselves. 

Dealing With Disappointments

It is a fortunate soul who doesn't experience some form of disappointment from time to time. The hope, wish, dream, goal or desire which we wanted didn't happen, for some reason. You or I had looked forward to this with great anticipation and nothing came from it. While we can rehash the details over and over, there is only one way to look at such an experience. You have to catch yourself in mid thought, and reframe the experience. I like the phrase, "Either this ... or something better." Claim that the occurrence which disappointed you is only a stepping stone to a greater good.  When ever your mind wants to make this into a full blown drama, remind yourself  "Either this ... or something better."

Doing Right Things vs. Doing Things Right

Many people have an internal struggle where they know they are doing  right things with their life. They eat nutritious, exercise, show up for work, accomplish their tasks of their job and spend available time with their families and in pursuit of their interests. And, from doing all this, they feel stuck, unhappy, unfulfilled or on a dead end path. Doing things right means changing the energy and attitude with which you do those actions and tasks. While you eat, enjoy the flavor of the foods. When you exercise, feel your body rejuvenate. At work, recapture the enthusiasm that you first had when you started the position. When you are on your time, enjoy the moments doing those things. Take the time to do all the things in your life right and be totally present in those moments.

Cleaning Up The Garbage In Our Minds

Emotions and clutter from the past holds us back from having the success which we also seek. Others hurt us and did us wrong. Our life would be superior if only something better had happened to us. A key to having the life we choose is to clean up our minds and hearts. Work to be present in the moment and to create our future. As we would walk bags of trash to the curb, collect up the past failings, resentments and disappointments and make a list so you can release them. How willing are you to do this? Watch your reactions and resistance. Dare to become free from the weight of all this garbage.

Don't talk yourself up in order to talk others down.

One aspect of social media is you get to sincerely get to see what people think about themselves when they post on their personal pages. One talented and complex woman I know has taken to try to build up her own self esteem by creating a competition against everyone with whom she's connected. She feels as if she's been put down and beat down by so many people around her. And, while she may need to work on her self esteem, this tactic is totally missing the point. No one needs to talk others down if they want feel good about themselves in the long term. And, when you truly feel good about yourself, others will respect you and won't talk you down.

The Magic of Anticipation

The magic of anticipation.  This mere idea of this speaks to our spirit. Having something to which we can look forward is such a powerful motivator. It is why children (as well as parents) have such anticipation about the holiday season. It can also be why others negatively self talk themselves out of their good - Negative anticipation. One aspect of a more fulfilled life is to have goals, events and outcomes which drive us to anticipate their outcome. Start anticipating more good in your life (even when it doesn't look like this will happen) and you'll see that more good occurrences will start to happen.

It takes more than just lemons to make lemonade

We have all heard the tired cliche about what to do when life 'hands us lemons.'  Missing from that wisdom is that we have to use our personal resourcefulness. Lemonade takes sugar to make the fruit far less tart, the action of squeezing to make the fruit juice usable, ice to chill the beverage and some glass or container to hold our output. It takes our knowledge, activity and logistics to make a great glass of lemonade, Next time, you make a something out of life's lemons, look at all the different tools that aided you in making something from the lemons. Give yourself credit for using them too.

Give Yourself A Special Gift This Holiday Season

The holidays season is here. The next several weeks will be filled with hordes of shoppers scouring the malls and stores seeking to find that perfect gift for everyone on their list.  In the midst of all this shopping and wrapping, have you ever thought of the gift you want for yourself. No, I'm not talking about that latest tech gadget or sharp sweater you saw. I'm talking about taking a moment out during all this hustle and bustle to nurture yourself during this time. Make it okay to avoid getting caught up in the frenzy of all this consumerism. One trigger for holiday depression is when people have a picture of how it 'should be,' and it doesn't quite turn out that way.  So, make it okay for this holiday to be less then perfect, but much more peaceful. Resolve to have a sane holiday season.

Who should you tell?

One of the greatest challenges of any goal or desire is with whom should you share it with?  You're brimming with the idea, and you just want to tell people. The easy answer seems like everybody. Perhaps you may need to be more careful.
Ask yourself, who outside of yourself will actually support you with time, energy, interest and even investment?  This may be a short list. Who can you ‘absolutely not tell’ because they ego, opinions, energy and actions will contaminate the idea? This may be a much longer list than the first one. Who will merely pay lip service to the idea? Many. Who should you not tell because they don't understand it or might not even care? More than a few.
When sharing your next great idea, be careful on who you want to share the idea with. Share with those who have  proven they will be supportive and see your good for you.

What Movies Are You Playing In Your Mind?

Your mind thinks in pictures. We may communicate with words, sounds and numbers, but we see visual images when we meditate, daydream, envision or create. The movie reels above represent pictures from the 1970's. Ask yourself, are you watching movies in your mind from that era?  Change the reel to look at pictures from today.  Visualize images that start right now and move in to the future. Look forward towards the future with new pictures of something better.  Hold the vision in your mind, no matter what other distractions interrupt you.